Sunday, May 18, 2014

The summer of my disconnect

I'm the child of the 21st Century - I have been on Facebook ever since it was created (I had an .edu email address, as was required at the time). I met my husband over the Internet. Heck, I have lived and breathed the Internet ever since I was a freshman in high school.

Me...circa 2001
As the years have progressed, life has picked up speed. Here are a few reasons:

Baby Jackson
Baby Zoey
Our furry baby, Walter
My baby love
By the time I was 25, I had a husband, 2 kids, a house, 2 cars, one fat cat and had already been laid off from my first job. I remember being asked my age and responding with "somewhere around 30." I truly had no clue how old I was.

Over the last year, the stress has been cranked to the max. Just when we think life couldn't hit another pothole, we're shocked into reality with another hit. Trav's unemployment....my work stress...health issues...family relations...ugh.

It all combines to be one messy, sticky situation with too much drama.

Just how bad is it? A few weeks ago, I came home from my work and just broke down. As in, full-on crying, making no sense, etc.

The worst part is that I don't think anyone sees that part of us. Everyone looks at us and sees a happy family on a firm foundation. In that way, we are lucky. Our marriage is firm, and our family is relatively happy; however, it's far from easy. It's far from stress-free.

There are so many times I want to scream "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CARE ABOUT US, TOO?!"

Around Easter, we took a trip to Tallgrass Prairie near Strong City, Kan. It's an annual trip we make to get away from the city.
There's nothing like walking without distractions. There's little cell service, so there's no urge to check email or Facebook. It's just you, God and the sweet sounds of nature.

That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks - I needed off of Facebook. It was consuming myself in a way I didn't like. I felt myself being pulled into the abyss with an overwhelming surge of updates that were irrelevant to my well-being.

So I'm pulled the cord...for now. I'm not logging into Facebook to free myself from being caught up in more drama, and I'm freeing myself to look outside of the Internet for satisfaction.

I'll be back - maybe this fall. Maybe not. I don't know, but I do know that this summer I'm going to focus on my family instead of anyone else. Until then, I'll be updating my blog a lot more and having more fun with family.

Bring on the family game nights!

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