Monday, April 4, 2011

Why the corporate world needs a binky

Listen up corporations - I'm talking to you. I'm talking to all of the business men and women who trudge to work each day to sit in their cubical and work on the computer for 8 hours a day under harsh fluorescent lighting.

It's time you take note and my kids.

Amazingly, you may just learn a lot from them:

1) Always say "please" and "thank you." Believe it or not, this isn't a general practice. In fact, it's rare to even hear a meaningful "thanks" anywhere. It actually would make the corporate world better to actually acknowledge work that someone does for you.

2) Cover your mouth when you cough. Why is hygiene so awful at the office? All it takes is one hand or one elbow over the mouth. That's it. Turning your head to cough away from the majority of people really does little good.

3) Clean up after yourself. That includes the break room. And the fridge in the break room. Yeah, you know who you are. I'm not your Momma, so clean up your own stuff!!

4) Clean up your toys before you move on to something else. I read a study a few months ago that multi-tasking isn't always efficient and that you should instead put all your focus on one item before moving on. Besides, I hate mental clutter.

5) Don't be mean to other people. Do I really need to go on?  There's a difference between venting and just being spiteful.

6) Don't be mean to other people behind their backs. Some people in the business world call this venting. Those in the parenting world call it WRONG.

7) Always eat breakfast. And lunch. Skipped meals is bound to make everyone cranky. Since there are nap rooms in most corporations, just eat your meals.

8) Throwing tantrums just makes everyone stressed. Ask Jack, my resident tantrum-thrower. The more tantrums he throws, the louder my volume gets. The same goes in a business setting. Just because you yell the loudest doesn't mean you're making any progress.

9) Play nice with others. It kind of goes back to that whole "don't be mean" factor. It takes more energy to be crabby and bossy anyway, so why not take a few extra seconds to help someone out? Added bonus: it makes you feel good.

10) Tattle only when necessary but not all the time. Throwing people under the bus really isn't the way to sucess. 

11) Go to bed earlier. Okay, so early is a subjective term. The point? Get some sleep. I need at least 7 hours of sleep to thrive. Do I get 7 hours of sleep a night? No, and most of the time it's interrupted by someone (or something, thanks to a hidden stop watch that goes off at 5 AM every day). However, I don't like to be cranky. Do you?

12) Play the quiet game. Your coworkers will thank you. Believe it or not, you're most likely not as funny as you may think.

And one of the more important ones...

13) Always tell the truth. Earn respect while doing what SHOULD come naturally.

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